On My Mind: Survive a COVID-19 Christmas

This year it’s tough to get into the swing of Christmas.

From Thanksgiving ’til now the world has seemed out of kilter, even more than before. For safety’s sake we skipped a large family Thanksgiving celebration, and without our traditional trip to Santa’s parade in Bryan the merriment of the season is missing. And visions of a scaled-down Christmas Day leaves little to look forward to.

Normally by now I’m having fun creating my annual comedy Christmas carol lyrics, but I’d decided to forego them this time around. Try as I might, I just couldn’t muster the spirit. If folks wanted the carols they could enjoy my old ones in my book “Almost Award Winning Christmas Carols.”

That just didn’t set well, though, so I decided to turn to social media for advice from friends. I asked if I should skip the carols this year. Everyone who responded told me to go for it, and their encouraging words really lifted my spirit. It is incredibly rewarding to see that people really do care.

So with that spiritual wind in my sails I gave it another try – and for good, bad or indifference, here we go. First off is “It’s the Most Frustrating Time of the Year.”

It’s the most frustrating time of the year,

The pandemic is raging, a war we are waging

On COVID-19

It’s the most frustrating time of the year.

It’s the crap- appiest season of all,

Their masks folks aren’t wearing

They just are not caring, it’s a true fatal flaw,

It’s the most frustaring time of the year.

Or how about this one to the tune of “Here Comes Santa Claus.”

Don’t have a heart attack

Forget pneumonia

For God’s sake don’t have a stroke.

Cause there’s no room in the hospitals

There’s a good chance you will croak ...

Well, some sage advice a social media friend gave me to be appropriate comes to mind, So let’s reset and try again – like this 2020 version of “Twelve Days of Christmas.”

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

A free test for COVID-19

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Two packs of wet wipes

And a free test for COVID-19

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Three bottles of bleach, two packs of wet wipes

And a free test for COVID-19

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Four good cloth face masks, three bottles of bleach, two packs of wet wipes

And a free test for COVID-19

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Five ... rolls ... of ... toilet ... paper

Four good cloth face masks, three bottles of bleach, two packs of wet wipes

And a free test for COVID-19

Now, in the spirit of saving space I will skip to day twelve, but feel free to sing the entire song ...

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Twelve packs of baking yeast, eleven frozen chickens, nine cans of Campbell soup, eight rolls of paper towels, seven digital thermometers, six hand sanitizers,

Five ... rolls ... of ... toilet ... paper

Four good cloth face masks, three bottles of bleach, two packs of wet wipes

And a free test for COVID-19

I know this has been a bit abbreviated compared to past years, but it’s the best I’ve got. So to you and yours, please have a merry Christmas in spite of the pandemic.

Don Allison is an author, historian and retired editor of The Bryan Times. He can be reached at www.fadedbanner.com.

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